I go up and down, and up and down. My Haley ride is like a roller coaster. It makes me dizzy, confused, topsy turvy, and sick. When I try to control this wild ride of life, my wheels squeak and try to pull off the tracks. Ya’ll, Jesus is the only thing I know that can gently put reigns on my plans, steer them back into His own, and lovingly lead me in a controlled journey through the peaks and valleys.
Life in Spain is truly amazing and such a journey. By journey, I mean that I am learning so much through the up/down "hiking" of life. I can feel close to God, high on Him/high on Life, in a moment. Then, in the next, I feel the slanting down into another lull. Life will naturally bring ups and downs; however, there are also times that my distrust throws dips into the path.
When I look at my world, my circumstances, my feelings, what’s going on around me, and if things are going the way I think they should... my eyes get distracted. I fall into living for my Haley Kingdom. My attention and focus falls on... How can I get people to approve of me? How can I be happier about the way I look? How can I be most successful? Anytime my gain is at the center, I am looking for significance from an unpromising source.
The end of the day is approaching here. I have been feeling the tension of my heart’s up and down struggle. Jesus never promised this life would be easy. However, He promised He would always be there to walk with us through it. When I get insecure, and half of my wheels are dangling off the tracks, He's still there. Despite how I feel in any moment, the Bible states unchanging truths about who we really are in God's eyes.
The separated and alone feelings I have are not reality. Christ died so that sin (separation from God) would lose its power in our lives. We are set free to share His new life. (Romans 6:4-8) “You, who are God’s children… you are strong with God’s word living in your hearts, and you have won the battle with Satan.” 1st John 2:14
Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy. That is his nature. He cannot deny himself. It is what He does. The arrows of attack are flying. There is a battle going on. This is why it is important to remember what He says is true vs. what Satan wants us to feel, the world wants us to feel, our insecurities make us feel.
God promises to fight for us. “The Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But, the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Romans 8:26-27
God will teach us through the ups and downs. Oh guys, I don’t like being in this place of falling into focusing on myself, my life, my benefit. It makes me sick. I pray that He will humble me and open my eyes to focus only on Him. He says to us, His children: “I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you, and so that my fame might be spread throughout the earth.” Romans 9:17.
How deeply I want to be used by Him as a vessel that can carry His love to others and to the world. One of my favorite lines from a song says… “How can I further your Kingdom when I’m so wrapped up in mine?” (Mercy Me). This is the prayer of my heart tonight.
As the Lord is softening me so I can be molded and refined, I am encouraged by this… “We can rejoice when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us. They help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us. Character produces the habit of joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.
When we were utterly hopeless, Christ came and died for us as sinners. God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of His son while we were still His enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by His life. So now we can rejoice in wonderful relationship with God, all because of what Jesus did on the cross, so that we can be friends of God.” Romans 5:3-6,8,10-11
A blessing and a truth to stand on in the day-to-day and always...
“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is filled with joy, and my mouth shouts His praises! My body rests in hope. He has shown me the way of life, and He will give me wonderful joy in His presence." Acts 2:25-26,28
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