Sunlight & Blue Skies

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands" Psalm 19:1

Beautiful

I am more excited than I can explain to write this message to you. Wherever this finds you, please know that this is a special letter from my heart. Today has been an amazing day. Before starting this blog, I was hesitant to put my thoughts out there. After many people asked for email updates or an account of my time this summer, I knew that each entry needed to be prompted only by God. I don’t want this to be of Haley, or my words to come from self-motivation or worry about what others might think about me. One of my struggles is letting my focus on Christ be distracted by the attempt to earn others’ approval. With that said, it is my prayer that this space and my life are prompted only by God.

The past couple of days I have felt in a rut and insecure/nervous about my time here. The attacks have been coming. Satan’s will is to steal, kill, and destroy. I didn’t feel led to write my thoughts down because I seemed to be in a haze spiritually. Our Great Shepherd has shown up in beautiful ways in the last 24 hours to inspire this message of gratitude. In our weakness, our incredible Father promises to always show up.

I’m going to jump around and bring you up to the most recent. Last week I got to dive into the IMM projects I’ll be working on. The first one is a one-month prayer guide. It will have an IMM person or project to pray for each day, as well as a nation and people group. I have been working on the design, and look forward to researching the nations and their needs. There will be 500-1,000 professionally printed in the States and sent to the people that support International Media Ministries. I’m also getting to work on an informational DVD cover for a program called “Go Borderless.” This is an opportunity for college students to come to IMM next summer for a week to experience production and the way the news of Jesus is being spread around the world through media.

The work, the environment, and the people here are incredible. It’s getting deep and real so fast. On Saturday, IMM threw Javier (the other intern) and I an arrival pool party/a goodbye celebration for one of the other couples that is returning to the States. The day before, Friday, we got to venture to the fruit market and butcher’s shop in Los Hueros to find groceries and things to cook for the party.

Between working and getting to see this area, I have been blessed with some amazing conversations. God, thank you for these friendships and laughter. You guys know laughing attacks… they seemed to follow me across the Atlantic. Thank you Jesus for laughing and smiles, they bridge all languages.

That brings me to today. It was a precious day with Father. Tim, Kim, Sylvia, Javier, and I went to the Madrid airport this morning to pick up Kim’s two sisters that will be staying with us in the IMM house this week. They are from Pensacola, FL. We drove into Madrid and got to see the Rashro Market in the city. It is a huge flea market each Sunday. It was unbelievable. We went from there to the International Church, a small metro ride away.

Guys, it was like Heaven. There were people from Africa, China, the Philippines, Spain, Romania, the Czech Republic, Americans… all praising and worshipping together. I could tell you about it and the way it touched me for hours. There were several pastors that would jump up. One would speak sentence by sentence in Spanish, alternating with another translating into English. It went slower than a normal service, but was amazing to hear the languages weave back and forth.

At one point we sang a song called, “No Jesus, No Life.” There were a few verses, but mainly these words were continuously repeated. Gosh, how true it is! Jesus is always inside of us, however when we are not relying on Him as our life, we don’t have a life. Like I was saying, it has been that way the past couple days for me. One way I can explain is that the Holy Spirit is inside of our hearts, as believers. He is our identity. I am Haley, but the life I live is not me trying to muster up love, kindness, goodness… it is Jesus in me. All pressure is off of us to “get things right.” The Spirit cannot deny His own character, the fruits of the Spirit. If I am relying on Him, depending on Him, trusting in Him to be my life, than my life will shine and produce fruit. That is His character and it will come out through each of us when we surrender our own way.  No Jesus, No Life. We can try all day, but that’s not true life of joy and peace. Only that can come from Father, through His Spirit inside of us.

Another song we sang was, “I’m desperate for you, I’m lost without you.” I can’t remember the actual title. You guys! The congregation of about 100 people were singing in English and Spanish at the same time! It was incredible. To hear different languages praising the name above all names! He is above language barriers. He is above ethnic divisions. He is King and Lord of all. Thank you, Jesus, for this blessing today. I have never seen anything like it. At one point all the Africans started a dance, raising their arms and singing Hallelujah. Amen, brothers and sisters. This is what life is about: celebrating the King together!

It went on. The sermon got me! It was about adapting to changes, the very issue that has been heavy on my heart. The pastor talked about seasons of change. Spain is a change. It is very different from home in Chattanooga or at Ole Miss. I know God has called me here, but don’t know what His will is going to look like. The pastor spoke about Solomon facing the fear and uncertainties of change when his dad, David, was dying in 1^st Kings 2.

In 2nd Corinthians 5:7 it says “live by faith, not by sight.” We like to know what we are getting into, the expectations we should have. But instead, with Christ we are called to walk with Him into change, trusting that He will use it to grow us.

Change can be hard. Change can hurt. Change is going against what we have gotten used to/comfortable in. It is my prayer that I will look at change through God’s perspective. It is up for me to decide if I’m going to try to figure out this summer on my own, (my limited Haley-understanding) or let God grow me and guide what I see and grow into.

“When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on Him, He will lift you up and give you honor.” James 4:10

God is in all things. All things only have purpose in Him. He holds all things together. God, may this trip and the lives of all of us be led by you. May they bring you glory. You give our lives purpose. Thank you for reminding me of my purpose in you today.  

Fotos

This link will open a picture album of Caden & Whitney's graduations and the start of my summer:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2050267&id=1511970319&l=909831b0e5

Good Mornin'

Good morning. :) It’s a pretty day here and the birds are already singing. I hope you’re having a great one wherever you are today too. I can’t explain in words how cool it is to be here. International Media Ministries is an amazing organization and I feel like I’m in a dream. The team here is only 11 people. There are three missionary couples that do media here as a career, one couple here for a year, a 2-year intern, an administrative secretary, and the two summer interns (Javier and me). 

A few of us live in what is called the “IMM Mansion.” It’s beautiful. I’ll be putting up some pictures when I get a chance. It is a three-story Spanish house that has video production on the first floor, offices and design on the second floor, and housing on the third. I live upstairs and even have a terrace overlooking the mountains outside my bedroom.

We work 9-5 Monday through Friday. Each day starts with a 15-minute prayer and devotion time. It has blessed me to have personal time in the morning and then start with prayer with the group. Once a week on Wednesdays we get to start with a longer Bible Study that leads into staff meeting. Yesterday it went from 9 until close to 1. Jerry, the IMM director, started a study on 1^st Thessalonians. Later we discussed the summer projects, how Javi and I will start our positions, and the vision/purpose of the work the Lord is bringing forth through IMM. I think Wednesdays are going to be my favorite.

After work ended yesterday, Kim and Tim (the couple here for a year, also living in the separate suite in the house) took Javi and I into Alcala de Henares. We live on a hill/mountain pueblo called Los Hueros. At the bottom is a city called Alcala, about 20 miles outside of Madrid. We got to eat dinner, walk around the Spanish University of Alcala, and spend time in the plaza. Then, Javi and I got to sit in on a Bible study that Kim and Tim are a part of each Wednesday night through one of the International churches in Madrid. I’m excited to get to go to church with them on Sunday.

Javi is hilarious! He is the other intern from New Jersey. He will be working on recreating the IMM website and learning video production. It’s going to be fun having someone the same age, especially someone so funny. He documented our adventure into the city last night on video and caught me having a laughing attack when we visited a convent. Let me explain. Apparently there are convents around Spain that specialize in certain types of trades. The women inside cannot have contact with people outside. At the particular one we got to go to, the nuns look through a peephole at you and sell caramelized almonds. Kim told us to be on our best behavior when we went in, but when the nun popped her eye up there I busted and couldn’t help but giggle. I excused myself and the burst of laughter came luckily when I got outside. Bless the nuns, I apologize. :)

There is so much to say and so much to come. I can’t believe it’s only the third day. I feel like I have known these people for a long time. It’s amazing when Jesus is the center of a friendship because it’s relaxed and comfortable from the beginning. They have made me feel truly welcome and I’m so excited to be here. Please know how deeply I care for you guys and love you. I am praying for you, my friends and family, in the States. Thank you for your love and all our good laughs and friendships too!

I want to share this with you before I go to work this morning. It is from 1^st Thessalonians. It says, “You are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night. So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert… Let us who live in the light think clearly, protected by the body armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.” Vs 5-8.

I got to go to Passion 2010, a Christian conference in Atlanta, in January. The theme was Awakening. It is my encouragement to you and to myself this morning that we wake up. That we realize who we are, our identity in Christ, and shine/manifest the light that He is inside of us. May we awake to His truths and stay away from the darkness and spiritual sleep. The King is alive and with us today. May we experience the joy and peace of His light. 

Arriving

Hola! Estoy en Espana. Gracias por sus oraciones! 

I am here and it has been an amazing day! Thank you for your love and support. I am so excited. I'll try to get some pictures and updates uploaded soon. It's going to be a wonderful summer with Jesus, new friends, and a new culture. Sending you my love, Haley 

Angels Around

(Written May 24th, uploaded today) I can’t believe it’s May 24th. Mom and I left Chattanooga this morning for the flight out of Atlanta. My stomach was tumbling nerves on the way. I don’t know if it’s nervousness, excitement, or the unknown; probably all three. It’s settled now and I am in the waiting area in the Washington airport. The plane from here will go into Madrid tonight. The Lord brought me a peace on the plane ride from Atlanta. Here are the things I’ve been thinking about this morning…

I tossed around trying to fall asleep last night, but it didn’t happen for a long time. Fears and insecurities grow much bigger for me at nighttime. It seemed that each scenario of something going wrong rolled through my mind. I had to keep praying against the worries, but I think I fell asleep still thinking about them.

I got to run along the brow this morning with the sunrise and Jesus. It was fun getting to use some of my excitement energy and get to see the mountain a last time. Variations of “Do Not Worry” is mentioned (according to David, my stepdad) 366 times in the Bible. This morning it was on my heart that God (our Father, best friend, brother, companion) is the Lord of armies of angels. With Him, there is no need for worry.

Over time, I’ve drifted slowly out of shape. My quiet times during runs these days are mostly talking with God about how to make it through. I know He is fighting for me and working/shaping me into His warrior. Warrior princess if you may. Princess of the King. I truly believe that He has angels stationed for our protection and is working for us in ways we cannot see/understand. Angels bow before Him, worship Him, adore Him. He sends His armies of angels to guard our way, guard our hearts, and do His work. Our friend, Father, and Savior is the Lord of the Angel Armies. Wow!

When we’re walking with Him, we get the amazing privilege to walk among angels. We won’t see them, but I believe they’re there. This morning when my legs hurt and I felt like I couldn’t take another step, I thought: “yes, with the Lord’s help, I’m getting in shape to be part of the army of the King.” Only He can equip and mold us into His sons and daughters, warriors, and ambassadors.

It’s so cool to me to think about the armies of angels that are seeking our best. Their great commander is the King who wants to be in a personal, intimate relationship with us. Wow! That is peace that is greater than any fear, any big airport, or any unknown. Praise to the King of Kings. Thank you for your prayers!

Whitney's Graduation

My little sister graduated from high school today. Whit’s turn was first, then Caden graduates from McCallie on Sunday. I can't believe "my babies" are this old. When they first became a bump on Momma's belly, I started calling them my babies. As the big sister, I still get that privilege.

Whitney and I got an early start celebrating this morning. We got ready together and danced our way down the mountain to her favorite music. It's been wonderful being home from school and getting to spend time with her. She is growing up fast, and sister time is so special. After a fun lunch with dad and Elizabeth, Caden and I got to hang out too.

It will be a fun packed weekend before getting on the plane Monday morning. I am more excited than I can explain. I’m praying for rest because when I get excited, I can’t sleep. Even at 21, I can’t sleep the night before Christmas or the first day of school. I love this excited feeling though. I can’t wait to see what Jesus has in store for this summer.

This last week the word “fight” has been on my heart. I have faced lies in my head about being unworthy, unprepared, or not good enough for this internship. Jesus promises that He will fight for us. When we are weak, He is able to glorify Himself through holding us in His strength. As a perfectionist, I must work on being weak and being made humble. Of course I am going to feel not good enough when I rely on myself. Jesus is Enough, and He is in me!

Kylie, my beautiful roommate and close friend, sent me an encouraging verse that further explained how Jesus fights for us. Even when we don’t know what to pray, His Spirit inside of us is praying for us. May I let go, trust, stop fighting on my own, and let Jesus fight for me. "The Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. We don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groaning that cannot be expressed with words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us in harmony with God's own will." Romans 8:26-27

God, please fight for me as I go to Spain. Please rise up in defense of all people reading this. I pray that you will glorify yourself through my weaknesses, fears, and insecurities. Mold me and work through me, as your tool to touch the world. Below are some of the things I have found about Jesus’ promise to fight for us…

“Just stand where you are and watch the Lord rescue you… The Lord Himself will FIGHT for you. You won’t have to lift a finger for your defense.” Exodus 14:13-14

“Do not be afraid. The Lord your God is going before you. He will FIGHT for you. You have seen how the Lord your God cared for you again and again in the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now He has brought you to this place.” Deut. 1:29-31

“Do not be afraid of the nations there, for the Lord your God will FIGHT for you. “ Deut. 3:22

“The Lord your God is going with you! He will FIGHT for you against your enemies, and He will give you victory.” Deut. 20:4

“Our God shall FIGHT for us.” Neh. 4:20

“My foes attack me all day long. My slanderers hound me constantly, and many are boldly attacking me. But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. I trust in you, God, so why should I be afraid?” Psalm 56:1-4

“Our God is greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome in power. And if our God is with us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is for us, then what could stand against us?” Passion Worship Band, 2010
“Be STILL and KNOW that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
(I got a concordance a couple of weeks ago. You can look up a word, where it is repeated through the Bible, and it’s Hebrew and Greek translation. The synonyms for specific words have helped me dig deeper and think through verses in different ways.)

From looking up the above passage, the synonyms have helped me look at the 8 word verse deeper and in many more perspectives…
STILL, looked up:
To slacken, abate, cease, fail, be faint, be feeble, forsake your own way, accept being weak, let go, let alone, stop planning, stop trying, be still, weaken your own will, stop focusing on self
KNOW, looked up:
To take care, to take recognition, be aware of, acknowledge, comprehend, consider, declare to be diligent in belief, discern, discover, to be familiar with, kinsfolk, to make known to self, to have knowledge of, to have respect for, to be sure of, a surety, to be able to teach or tell about, to have an understanding of, believed in, understood

The Story

It has been a crazy ride of a story. Here it goes...
This past school year, I was a junior at Ole Miss. My major and passion is graphic design. I also love Jesus. He has my heart. Recently, the idea of world missions has continued to be on my mind. With one summer left before the time would come to "grow up" and enter the big world, I started exploring ways to serve. In the fall, when I was praying for God's will for my summer, it seemed like a divine appointment opened up. I was blessed with the opportunity to serve with a missionary family in Brazil for the summer months. I got excited and told my friends. My dream to serve in missions was coming true. I got to work planning, building it up, and getting excited about what God was doing.

In January, I was truly blessed by the Passion Conference in Atlanta. It is a four-day gathering of college students that "exists to glorify God by uniting students in worship and prayer for spiritual awakening in this generation." I had an encounter with Jesus that I hadn't had before. I left, hungry for His name to be known, yearning to truly LIVE for Him. My heart was uneasy about the Brazil decision, and I couldn't understand. It made me nervous.

What would my friends think of me, a big-dreamer whose ideas were too good to be true? I had explained Brazil to many and already planned for it. It was going to cause a mess if God was really telling me that it wasn't His plan. In my heart though, I knew I was supposed to surrender the identity I had made for myself in this summer missions trip, and go back to Jesus' feet. He is trustworthy. He knows me and the big picture.

It was humbling and hard to let go of what I thought I had already figured out. I knew God knew best, but that didn't make it feel easy. I told God I would be content returning home to Chattanooga, working in Oxford, or going wherever He wanted me to for the summer. I just wanted Him to be clear and help me discern His will.

One day at school, I randomly googled "graphic design summer internship + ministry." The first link on the list said, "IMM, International Media Ministries." I clicked it, and a page pulled up that said, "Graphic Design Summer Intern Needed." I got to read about the ministry and learned how it is a group of missionaries that use their passion for media design and production to further the Kingdom of Jesus. Wow.

I wrote an email to IMM's director, Jerry. Within 24 hours he had responded. He put me in touch with his wife, Gwen, whom directed me in the application process. Applying required going through a global missionary placement procedure. I sent in my application and was told I should hear if accepted in two months. At the time that I sent it in, Jerry emailed to see if I could send in some of my art work. Two weeks later he told me that He and Gwen wanted to offer me the position of graphic design intern and summer MA (missionary associate). However, I would still have to wait on the back ground check. Two weeks later, I hear from the company I had to apply through that I was accepted and placed with IMM in Madrid. It was a month earlier than I was supposed to find out!

It is now May 18th and six days until the day I leave for IMM! God has gone above and beyond to bless me with the resources needed to travel. I will be there from May 24th until August 3rd. It has been an amazing blessing the way God has worked in each detail. I haven't done anything to plan, and the way it is unfolding is amazing me. From Brazil, to no plans, to a summer spreading the name of Jesus through my love of art... I can't even explain. Praise and glory to Jesus! Thank you to the King!