Soften Me.

Beautiful. Joy. Captivating. There aren’t words grand enough to explain it. The things that are beautiful here… the fields of grass, the dancing wildflowers, the bright blue sky, the fresh air for morning exercise, the best tasting fruits and vegetables I’ve ever had, the fellowship and stories of the missionary couples, my health that I so often take for granted, country songs on head phones through 8-hour work days, getting called the “southern girl from Tenn-a-ssee” or by my middle name (Brooke), having sleepovers in Crystal’s (one of the girls here for two years) room while her parents are here, LAUGHING, walking in the rain with Kim, playing dominoes/spades/nertz/Rummy with the “family” at night to take a break from the technology, bumping into everyone as we all cook together in the kitchen, special times each morning to be still and talk with Jesus, time to journal, days full of living out my passion for design and creating, visiting new places (Toledo), riding bicycles through the country, talking on Skype for the first time, getting to see the people I love right through the computer, the sweetest emails from friends as love pours long/wide/far-even over the sea, godly friendships and accountability, my sweet family and the things the Lord has brought us through to strengthen us and equip us for more of the journey, forgiveness, the softening of my heart…

I could continue a list for hours about the beauty the Lord has brought into my life. I so often get caught up in insignificant feelings or worries about things I don’t have. But, gosh, I have so so much to be grateful for. I told you the other day about the moment by moment choice to live out of how we feel/the way things seem to be vs. living out of the truth. God is bringing me back into that remembrance here.

Life if beautiful. God is in all things. When He opens my eyes to see Him in something, I get so excited and start trying to find Him in everything. He is there. He holds all things together. He gives all things purpose. I pray, Father, thank you so much for the beauty of life. May I embrace it and come alive in you. The world doesn’t need me to try to be a good Haley, but it needs me to come alive. When I awaken and let you meet my every need, I become needless, content, satisfied, significant, and full of you. Pour into me, clean me, fill me, overflow, spill over, shine and slosh your love through me into the world.

You guys, something so special to me is the idea of “softening.” I read a verse once about sin cutting scratches on our hearts with a diamond-tipped blade. When we get cuts, scar tissue builds up. This analogy is true in my heart. The more independent I become from God, those layers build up. It becomes a barrier, a wall. It prevents my heart from being moved by God. It isolates me. I turn inward, afraid, insecure, trying to do it on my own, feeling like the only one. Hardened. Our beautiful God is softening me again this summer. It is so beautiful I can’t even explain. I pray that he will tear back, cut away any scar tissue on my heart, on your heart, on the hearts in our world, so that we can be touched by his beauty, see Him in all things, be moved by Him, feel His love, and hear Him telling us our valuable/BELOVED identity.

It is good! This link will take you to pictures of the beauty God is walking me through physically and spiritually over here. He’s an artist, that’s for sure. Sending my love, hugs, and prayers for awakening and softening. :) 

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31290981&l=7cae29ebbd&id=1511970319