Beautiful

I am more excited than I can explain to write this message to you. Wherever this finds you, please know that this is a special letter from my heart. Today has been an amazing day. Before starting this blog, I was hesitant to put my thoughts out there. After many people asked for email updates or an account of my time this summer, I knew that each entry needed to be prompted only by God. I don’t want this to be of Haley, or my words to come from self-motivation or worry about what others might think about me. One of my struggles is letting my focus on Christ be distracted by the attempt to earn others’ approval. With that said, it is my prayer that this space and my life are prompted only by God.

The past couple of days I have felt in a rut and insecure/nervous about my time here. The attacks have been coming. Satan’s will is to steal, kill, and destroy. I didn’t feel led to write my thoughts down because I seemed to be in a haze spiritually. Our Great Shepherd has shown up in beautiful ways in the last 24 hours to inspire this message of gratitude. In our weakness, our incredible Father promises to always show up.

I’m going to jump around and bring you up to the most recent. Last week I got to dive into the IMM projects I’ll be working on. The first one is a one-month prayer guide. It will have an IMM person or project to pray for each day, as well as a nation and people group. I have been working on the design, and look forward to researching the nations and their needs. There will be 500-1,000 professionally printed in the States and sent to the people that support International Media Ministries. I’m also getting to work on an informational DVD cover for a program called “Go Borderless.” This is an opportunity for college students to come to IMM next summer for a week to experience production and the way the news of Jesus is being spread around the world through media.

The work, the environment, and the people here are incredible. It’s getting deep and real so fast. On Saturday, IMM threw Javier (the other intern) and I an arrival pool party/a goodbye celebration for one of the other couples that is returning to the States. The day before, Friday, we got to venture to the fruit market and butcher’s shop in Los Hueros to find groceries and things to cook for the party.

Between working and getting to see this area, I have been blessed with some amazing conversations. God, thank you for these friendships and laughter. You guys know laughing attacks… they seemed to follow me across the Atlantic. Thank you Jesus for laughing and smiles, they bridge all languages.

That brings me to today. It was a precious day with Father. Tim, Kim, Sylvia, Javier, and I went to the Madrid airport this morning to pick up Kim’s two sisters that will be staying with us in the IMM house this week. They are from Pensacola, FL. We drove into Madrid and got to see the Rashro Market in the city. It is a huge flea market each Sunday. It was unbelievable. We went from there to the International Church, a small metro ride away.

Guys, it was like Heaven. There were people from Africa, China, the Philippines, Spain, Romania, the Czech Republic, Americans… all praising and worshipping together. I could tell you about it and the way it touched me for hours. There were several pastors that would jump up. One would speak sentence by sentence in Spanish, alternating with another translating into English. It went slower than a normal service, but was amazing to hear the languages weave back and forth.

At one point we sang a song called, “No Jesus, No Life.” There were a few verses, but mainly these words were continuously repeated. Gosh, how true it is! Jesus is always inside of us, however when we are not relying on Him as our life, we don’t have a life. Like I was saying, it has been that way the past couple days for me. One way I can explain is that the Holy Spirit is inside of our hearts, as believers. He is our identity. I am Haley, but the life I live is not me trying to muster up love, kindness, goodness… it is Jesus in me. All pressure is off of us to “get things right.” The Spirit cannot deny His own character, the fruits of the Spirit. If I am relying on Him, depending on Him, trusting in Him to be my life, than my life will shine and produce fruit. That is His character and it will come out through each of us when we surrender our own way.  No Jesus, No Life. We can try all day, but that’s not true life of joy and peace. Only that can come from Father, through His Spirit inside of us.

Another song we sang was, “I’m desperate for you, I’m lost without you.” I can’t remember the actual title. You guys! The congregation of about 100 people were singing in English and Spanish at the same time! It was incredible. To hear different languages praising the name above all names! He is above language barriers. He is above ethnic divisions. He is King and Lord of all. Thank you, Jesus, for this blessing today. I have never seen anything like it. At one point all the Africans started a dance, raising their arms and singing Hallelujah. Amen, brothers and sisters. This is what life is about: celebrating the King together!

It went on. The sermon got me! It was about adapting to changes, the very issue that has been heavy on my heart. The pastor talked about seasons of change. Spain is a change. It is very different from home in Chattanooga or at Ole Miss. I know God has called me here, but don’t know what His will is going to look like. The pastor spoke about Solomon facing the fear and uncertainties of change when his dad, David, was dying in 1^st Kings 2.

In 2nd Corinthians 5:7 it says “live by faith, not by sight.” We like to know what we are getting into, the expectations we should have. But instead, with Christ we are called to walk with Him into change, trusting that He will use it to grow us.

Change can be hard. Change can hurt. Change is going against what we have gotten used to/comfortable in. It is my prayer that I will look at change through God’s perspective. It is up for me to decide if I’m going to try to figure out this summer on my own, (my limited Haley-understanding) or let God grow me and guide what I see and grow into.

“When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on Him, He will lift you up and give you honor.” James 4:10

God is in all things. All things only have purpose in Him. He holds all things together. God, may this trip and the lives of all of us be led by you. May they bring you glory. You give our lives purpose. Thank you for reminding me of my purpose in you today.