Beautiful & Refreshing Truth

Such a beautiful song and reminder by Casting Crowns.

Oh Father, you are so good. Please come and live your life through us. Please overflow your love and the fruits of your character through our hearts. Father, please make us what you want us to be. Give us your eyes, your ears, your heart, no matter the cost. I pray that we may be your hands and feet to the earth, but only through your Spirit, your guidance, your will. Thank you for wanting us. For LOVING us. Thank you, precious Father. You are ALWAYS GOOD. 

"If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
To deliver Your people from Satan's hands

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
It makes me strong

Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength
Until YOU bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind"
Father, by your power alone

Help me to fight and come alive in You.

Boundless Love.

A beautiful song my friend Rachel played on the guitar last summer at camp. Titled "Sovereign Father," it was written by Wade Holmes and John Messner from Nashville, TN. 

"Sovereign Father, You are wise beyond compare

And so faithful, though it seems that life's not fair.

Help me to sing of your endless acts of mercy

Boundless freedom for the slave

And of healing for the broken-hearted

And resurrection from the grave

Gentle Savior, I've been swept off my feet

And I can't fathom how you could be so good to me

How you turned my mourning into dancing

Restored the eyesight for the blind

And your vast forgiveness for the sinner

Your compassion is my song

Why am I afraid of my sin and doubt

That this indifferent heart won't love you back

That this joy won't last, that I'll fail you, Lord

But in my helplessness, may your power bring rest

May I be still and know that You are God

May I sing of endless acts of mercy

Boundless freedom for the slave

And of healing for the broken-hearted

And resurrection from the grave"

Love Letter.

To my beloved, 

You may not know me, but I know you. I know everything about you. I know when you sit down and when you rise. I am familiar with all your ways. Even the hairs on your head are numbered. For you were made in my image. In me you live and move and have your being. For you are my offspring. I knew you even before you were conceived. I chose you when I planned creation. You were not a mistake, for all of your days are written in my book. 

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I knit you together in your mother's womb. And brought you forth on the day you were born. I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. I am not distant and angry, but the complete expression of love. It is my desire to lavish my love on you. Simply because you are my child and I am your father. Do not fear. I have called you by name and you are mine.

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. For I am the perfect father. Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. For I am your provider and I will meet all of your needs. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. I love you with an everlasting love. My thoughts towards you are countless as the sand on the seashore. I rejoice over you with singing. I will never stop doing good for you, for you are my treasured possession. I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. I want to show you great and marvelous things. If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. I will never hide from you, trick you, or play games with you. When you knock, I will answer.

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. For it is I who gave you those desires. I am able to do more for you than you could possible dream or hope. I want to give you infinitely more than you could wish for yourself. I am your greatest encourager. I am in your heart, right here, pleading for you and wanting the best for you. I am also your Father who wants to encourage you in all of your troubles. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. I will take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. I am you Father and I love you, even as I love my son, Jesus. For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. He is the exact representation of my being. He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. His life will show you that I am not counting your sins. When I look on you, I only see a pure and beloved child because of what Jesus did on the cross. He died so that you and I can be reconciled. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. I gave up everything I loved, my perfect and blameless son, so that I might gain your love. If you receive the gift of grace through Jesus, you receive me; and nothing can separate you from my love again. Please come home. I can't wait to throw a huge party in your honor. You are mine and I love you. I have always been your Father and will always be your Father. There is nothing too bad or too good that you can do to change the way I love you. -God

These truths are found all throughout the Bible. I have to cling to God's promises daily, even minutely, so I can claim them and remember my true identity in Him. Remember this God of love and what you mean to Him. It'll change your life. It has mine! 

(Psalm 34:18, 37:4, 71:6, 139:1-3 & 13-18, Matthew 5:48, 6:31-33, 7:11, 10:29-31, Genesis 1:27, Acts 17:26,28, Jeremiah 1:4-5, 29:11, 31:3, 32:40-41, 33:3,  Ephesians 1:11-12, 3:14-15 & 20, John 8:41-44, 17:23 & 26, 1st John 2:23, 3:1, 4:10 & 16, James 1:17, Zephaniah 3:17, Exodus 19:5, Deuteronomy 4:29, Phillipians 2:13, 2nd Thessalonians 2:16-17, 2nd Corinthians 1:3-4, 5:18-19, Isaiah 40:11, Revelation 21:3-4, Hebrews 1:3, Romans 8:31-32 & 38-39, Luke 15:7 & 11-32)

Beautiful Summer.

Incredible Summer. Wonderful Job. Amazing People. Beautiful Journey. Sweet Memories. Huge Smiles. Bittersweet Goodbyes. Plane Home. Seeing Family. So Excited!

It's been a truly beautiful blessing to be in Spain this summer. I can't explain well enough with words. Thank you for your love and excitement for me. I fly home tomorrow morning and am so excited to see you guys again! Sending all my love, Haley :)

Below are most of my projects from the summer. Many are mail-out/letter designs. One is the summer newsletter. A few of the pages from the month-long prayer guide are attached. You can download the complete book HERE. I was so blessed getting to research the countries for this one. The logo piece was something fun I worked on. IMM is working on getting a new look, but this was just a fun doodle. There is also a Go Borderless Event I got to promote with photography and design. The last piece promotes a new IMM program called IMMPACT. A video production (that Javi directed & I got to be a part of) will be posted soon.

P.S. You'll see how IMM gave me the grace to incorporate my favorite color, turquoise, into their pieces. Thank you, Jerry! For those of you who have seen my room (in Oxford or in Chattanooga), you know how much I love it. :)

He hears.

"You said, Ask and you will receive

Whatever you need
You said, Pray and I'll hear from heaven
And I'll heal your land

You said Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the seas
You said, Lift up your eyes
The harvest is here, the kingdom is near

You said, Ask and I'll give the nations to you
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light, as it rises on us

Oh Lord, we ask for the nations
Oh Lord, we are asking for the nations."

By Shane and Shane (click here for video)

Where Hope Is.

Thoughts. Beliefs. Convictions. 

I got an email from Joe White tonight. He is the director of Kannakuk Kamps and the speaker from Ole Miss' After Dark last year. The night is steadily getting later here in Spain, but my heart is so moved to write a few things to you. 

We can believe in something, but being convicted of it is what causes change. I can believe in Jesus, but even the demons and Satan believe in Him. "Even the demons believe in Him and tremble in terror" James 2:19. 

I can believe in God, but I want to be convicted that He is King. I want it to radically change every part of my life and the way I see myself. This conviction will move me to stake my life, my whole, all of me on His word. If I am convicted that Jesus is truth, my life will show it. I pray for this conviction for me and for the world. This is the Awakening I pray will capture our attentions, captivate our hearts, and bring us to humble adoration of the King of Kings.

When I am convicted that I truly am the BELOVED of God, I am...

His. I am loved. I am beloved. I am valuable... wanted, forgiven, reserved, taken, cherished, in relationship, purchased, in Christ, alive, filled with purpose, dependent on His Spirit in me, saved by grace, set apart, died for, thought about, special, new identity, His ambassador, an heir to the throne, recipient of all God's glory through grace, enabled/equipped/empowered by the Spirit, FREE, paid for in FULL, daughter of the Great King, wanted to be known by Him, pursued, UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED, blessed, taught by the Great Teacher, led by the Great Shepherd, held by the Great Healer, comforted by the Lord of all, healed by the One who holds all things together, appointed to share the amazing news of Him, blessed to bring others into His Kingdom, a Kingdom resident, living in hopes of the truest reality of the eternal realm despite the distractions of this life, free from feelings, walking on a journey...

I have meaning. I have purpose. I have a firm, sure, secure foundation. FEARLESS. Moved and guided by the Spirit, urged to move, excited to tell, a life-giver, refreshing to others, cleansed, healed, restored, filled up, Spirit-filled, understood, significant, secure, accepted, redeemed... 

The list could go on and on and on... This truth is alive. He is alive. May we come alive to the conviction and perspective of knowing His truths. Wonder and awe and words cannot describe the absolutely incredible love of Christ. This conviction is where hope is!

Pure, like orange juice.

"Wonder and awe surround you, Oh Lord

Glory and fire light your way

Day after day the Heavens proclaim

the Beauty of the Holy One.

We will respond,

With joy in our song!

There is none so High and Holy

King of Kings, the One and Only

You are adored, You are the Lord of all.

Mysteries unknown are known to You,

All wisdom is Yours to reveal

You hold in Your hand, the days of all men

All life and breath is Yours to give

Your enemies, rise, Your enemies fall

Your fire consumes them all

We adore you, Lord. We love you.

Let our hearts be pure, Oh Lord."

By Kristian Stanfill

Father, help us to behold the Man of Jesus. 100% Pure orange juice means 100% one thing. Purity means all of one thing. It means without additives. I try to add so many things to Jesus. Jesus + others' approval. Jesus + caring about my appearance. Jesus + my Haley-ways of doing things. Jesus + trying to be good enough.

Purity means all of one thing. Dear Precious and High and Holy King. Please make me pure and defined by my identity in you. May I let go of the "plusses" I try to add to you. You are enough. Focus my eyes. Change my perspective. Take me high, fill me, replace my world perspective of longing to be loved with your great love. Let your love flood through me, transforming me and bringing life to the people I meet. Please be a refreshing joy, peace, and comfort through me. I want to be like Jesus. Father, I pray that you will make me pure, 100% of the Spirit's character that you put inside me through grace.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has appointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed." Isaiah 61:1

Seeking to Trust.

Seeking to trust. I feel lies and insecurities attacking. I have to choose to say no. Satan wants to use feelings, insecurities, and lies to distract/divert/distort my attention. No, I must depend on Jesus to help me. It is not as it seems. It is not as it feels.

God is saying... Daughter, dance with me. Come out of the hiding. My light will make the darkness flee. Don't be afraid. Don't sell out, give up, quit, or lose yourself. Look to me, for I am here. I am here, right now.

May I look to Him. May I not just know Him, but be set free by believing Him.

"I know you've washed me white,

Turned my darkness into light.

I need your strength to get me through this night.

I can't live by what I FEEL,

but only by the TRUTH your word reveals.

I'm not holding onto you,

But you're holding onto me."

By Casting Crowns

Thank you for your love and prayers. Jesus is king, despite what we feel. I don't know what this is, but I know it will be ok. Too much of my life, I've hidden my feelings from myself... thinking that being a Christian meant I would always trust and always be happy. I'm learning that by trying to find the source of my feelings, I don't have to hide from myself anymore. I can be real with me. Real with other people. And in the brokenness and realness, depend on Jesus. That is where Freedom is. This song touched my heart. He holds all things together. He is holding me, and you, and all things. Praising Him, for in our weakness He is strong.

Feel or Trust.

"Is there anyone that fails?

Am I the only one feeling so small?

Cause when I take a look around,

Everybody seems so strong. 

I know they'll soon discover that I don't belong.

So I tuck it all away, like everything's ok. 

If I make them all believe it,

Maybe I'll believe it too.

So with a painted grin, I play the part again,

So everyone will see me the way that I see them.

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain?

But if the invitation's open

To every heart that has been broken,

Maybe then we'll close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade.

Is there anyone who's been here? 

Am I the only one who's traded the altar for a stage?

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart. 

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart.

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be.

Would your arms be open

Or would you walk away?

Would the love of Jesus 

Be enough to make us stay?"

By Casting Crowns

Vulnerability. It is hard. I become this smiling, guarded person without knowing it. Who am I really when the curtain goes down, when the door closes for the day, when I feel alone?

I woke up this morning (Saturday) and my heart felt like it was bleeding. I felt so far from my God, my love. In the journey, how can I feel like a saint one day and a crying coward the next? Like running… how can my legs feel alive and free one day, and on the next, it’s a struggle to go ten steps?

Day by day, I am praying to understand the battle between truth and the way I feel. I cannot depend on feelings. This morning I felt like not getting out of bed, that seeing a new day wasn’t worth it. It’s ridiculous and crazy. I have been truly blessed with health, with a summer in Spain, with incredible friendships and family, and countless other blessings. Satan is on the prowl to steal, kill, and destroy. Any gap He can capture in how we feel about ourselves, our lives, our perspectives, He wants to distort. I have to choose to see things a different way.

Gosh, I am weak. It makes me sick sometimes when I think how my Haley-view goes up and down and all over the place. Life isn’t easy. Jesus is my only answer to these things because I don’t know any other way. When I take my eyes off of Him to try to please someone else or make Haley try to be significant, I always come back to Him being the only answer.

If I write these letters to you, painting an easy, happy-faced walk with Christ all the time, I am like this song. No, I want with all of me, to be real for you. I want you to know that I hurt, that I struggle, that I get confused on how “to do” this life. I am continuing to learn that Jesus is my only hope.

It’s a long road and a beautiful journey. It is a rags to riches story. I have many rags still dragging behind me as I walk, but little by little Jesus is teaching me, purifying me, refining me through fires. Will I choose to see them as impossible and want an easy way out? Or will I beg Jesus to make me a lion chaser, a confident and strong warrior for Him, seeing the beautiful flames that are changing me to be more like Him?

"I've been looking for love in another's eyes,

Searching for water but I come up dry.

Thought that I could...

Find happiness in the world's applause,

Peace of mind in a worthy cause.

Take me back, take me back.

I've got to trust in the simple truth. 

I've got to trust all I really need is you.

I'm coming back to you,

The only thing I know worth living for.

I'm yours, I'm coming back.

Will you take this heart and make it more like you.

I give it back to you.

It's obvious no one could love me more.

I'm yours and I'm coming back to you." By Britt Nicole

Oh, I pray that our feelings will not capture our attention! I pray that our insecurities will not take control. Jesus, we need you. Jesus, I need you. I cannot do this alone. Please tear down the walls that I put up so people will not see my brokenness. We are your children, and even in this broken world, we are free to shine with absolute life in you. May your light make the darkness flee. Help me to tell others my story, my real heart, so that You will be glorified. Praise to you, the King! Please give us your help. Turn our hearts from feelings to your truth.

“Oh what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant. With just a Sling and a stone. Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors, shaking in their armor. Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me. Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed. The giant keeps on telling me, time and time again, ‘Boy, you'll never win! You'll never win.’

But the voice of truth tells me a different story. And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!" And the voice of truth says ‘This is for My glory.’ Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.” By Casting Crowns

“I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you, and so that my fame might be spread throughout the earth.” Romans 9:17

Praise.

"I see that the Lord is always with me.

I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts His praises!

My body rests in hope.

For your will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your Holy One to rot in the grave. You have shown me the way of life, and You will fill me with the joy of Your presence."

Acts 2:25-28

Smiling.

"Who cares what they're wearing on Main Street or Saville Row. It's what you wear from ear to ear, and not from head to toe, that matters... You're never fully dressed without a smile!"

Smiles

When I was a little girl, Annie was one of my favorite movies. The little girls sing and dance to this song about smiles. Aww, I love it! :) Kim (a sweet friend I get to work with) popped into my office today. Logo design is my main project this week, accompanied with sweet melodies of country and christian music. Where a musical song came from out of that mix, I don't know. Randomly, I got to tell Kim how much I loved Annie... and we found a clip on youtube. Oh, it made me smile, reminisce, and dance like the little girls on the screen!

Innocence. It's so beautiful. I want to dream big, sing loud, dance around, and shine like those girls in the New York orphanage. Despite all odds, living, smiling, free. Life is a beautiful thing. I believe that my life's purpose is for God... and God is good all the time. No matter the circumstance, no matter the feelings, He's there. God is Life, and He is Good. :)

Thanks for being such a blessing to me in Spain. It is a journey to get to sit with Jesus and write these letters to you. Life is wonderful here and a true joy. From my heart, I want to tell you though... sometimes I feel tension come when the day slows down after work. It is a step by step journey of getting to know Haley when things get quiet and I feel alone.

A close friend told me one time: "Wherever you are, be all there." It seems crazy that I can be here, in an amazing summer adventure, yet be taunted with homesickness, missing friends and family. God is teaching me to seek Him, to dig deeper into who Haley is, and to face the insecurities that are stirred when things get quiet. This has been a long time coming. I thank God for bringing me to this place of being dependent on Him, finding true joy in Him, and experiencing another part of the world with Him as my best friend and security.

I have had the joy and blessing to start running again. In the mornings before work, I start the day out in the dark. God has created a big analogy in my mind between "waking up" to Him (Awakening) and getting out of bed each morning. My alarm keeps getting set earlier because my number of snooze presses has increased. Every day it's a decision. Every day it's a wrestle to choose to sit up, awake, put shoes on, and take the first step. It's the hardest part.

Life with the Spirit is a walk. A journey. A moment by moment decision. I got to listen to a sermon the other day by Andy Stanley, a pastor in Atlanta. He explained how walking in the Spirit is like following a person, instead of a list. It is like following a car, instead of watching the guardrails. It is following a personal friend, instead of written directions. It's intensely personal. It's beautiful. It's a relationship. Amazing! A step by step walk.

As I write, I'm in this walk. Right now, it's step by step in Spain. Who knows the direction the path will go after Chattanooga, after a senior year at Ole Miss... That's the beautiful thing about it. God is helping me place my hope in the here and now. Jesus will guide. If I have faith, pay attention, and keep walking, then He'll get me where I'm supposed to be. I'm excited and looking forward the step by step of His plans for these final two weeks here.

What am I waiting on? I've realized that what I tend to wait for is what I'm putting my hope in. Daily, I'm learning that I cant afford to hope in anything but Christ. So... I wait only for Him, hope only in Him, and step by step pray that I will trust Jesus and shine in the here and now. May I surrender any longings/desires for the future. There is so much life to discover in the present. Jesus=Life. He's yearning to be sought out and found. May I focus on relationship with Him, and the freedom, joy, and SMILES it brings. "We're never fully dressed without a... smile!" I hope you have an amazing day. :)

Indelible.

Indelible... it means permanent. Impossible to remove, erase, or wash away. Unable to be forgotten. Incapable of being removed. Indestructible. Unerasable. Ineradicable. Lasting. Enduring. Ingrained. 

God is an unchanging, eternal, always loving, always true to His character, INEDELIBLE God. This is life-changing, mind blowing, incredibly amazing, worth telling, no-words-describing type of story! 

We were made for a relationship with Him. Adam and Eve had relationship with God, until they fell by choosing independence from Him. Their sin created a gap. Jesus came to bridge the gap, save us, recreate a way for relationship with God. He didn't only die and save us. He rose, "awakening us from the dead" into new life & relationship with Him. It's an incredible and indelible love. 

"Living He loved me,

Dying He saved me,

Buried He carried my sins far away,

Rising He justified (me) freely forever

One day He's coming, Oh Glorious Day!"

By Casting Crowns

"Death is swallowed up in victory. Oh death, where is your sting? How we thank God, who gives us victory over sin and death through Jesus Christ, Our Lord." 1st Corinthians 15:55,57

The Dance.

Absolute beauty. I got to take this picture on the trail where I’ve been running in the mornings. Summer is beautiful, especially the green grass against the sky! I want to share another beautiful something with you too…

Today’s Wednesday. That means group devotional started the day. It’s my lunch time and my heart’s bursting with excitement and joy to tell you guys some awesome things.

Michael taught this morning about God being a god of rules. God is legal. Because He is legal and just (even though He is all loving), He will not erase His standards. We started by looking at the Ten Commandments, the Law of God (Exodus 20, Deut. 5).

Here is where the amazing news comes in. It’s incredible, guys. :)

God gives us His law, knowing that we will never be able to keep it. We miss the point when we make Christianity into a code of rules and duties to follow. He knows we cannot keep them, no matter how much we try.

“For all have sinned and fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23

“No one can ever be made right in God’s sight by doing what His law commands. For the more we know God’s law, the clearer it becomes that we aren’t obeying it.” Romans 3:20

There was only one person who could keep the Law that God set for us. It was Jesus. Our failures at being able to keep the rules and standards point to Him. The points of the law show us the character of God. Michael talked about the law not being a list of social boundaries, but rather a means of showing us who God is and what He is like.

When Christ died on the cross, He gave us the free gift of grace to live in His Spirit. This means that when we believe in Him, His Spirit/His character (the same character that fulfilled the Law) comes to live inside of us. Through Christ, we are able to live out His character. He becomes our strength. He becomes our peace, joy, freedom, and life. Our eyes become opened to see life in a new way.

The commands of the Law move from being duties to delights. God will not demand His way on us. He longs for us to know Him, find life in Him, and be delighted in getting to know Him more. God wants us to delight in following His character. He knows that it will bring us the most life and freedom. There is a huge difference between rules and relationship. God wants relationship. Jesus is the answer. He fulfilled the Law and made us free.

That is incredible news! Because of Jesus, I am changed internally (supernaturally), so that Christ’s nature/character can be lived out through me. The King of Love wants to manifest Himself through me, through you, through anyone who will come to know Him.

Where the Spirit is, there is freedom! I pray that our generation will wake up to see the Bible and Jesus in a fresh new way. The Bible is not a coded list of rules. It is such freedom and life. All the rules show God’s nature, displayed in the flesh by Jesus. They point to the fact that we couldn’t uphold them. That Jesus could. And that He came to die so that our legal and just God would punish Him for our sin instead. Not only did He take what we deserved, BUT THEN He gave us His character and life to live inside of us. Through Him living in us, God is brought glory. Through Jesus fulfilling God’s law, God is brought glory.

It’s an amazing dance of love. Jesus longs to bring the Father glory, and God the Father longs for our best. He knows that our best comes when we are glorifying Him. We are able to glorify Him through Jesus living in us.

The perfect picture is the Trinity. None of the three (Father, Son, Spirit) ever look at themselves. They are sold out for the good of the others. It is a dance. The attitude/character of Christ is laying down His all, for the good of others.

Jesus got no self-gratification by dying for us. He didn’t need us in the first place. God has never needed us to glorify Him. He wants us to, for our benefit. Jesus died for our benefit!

God invites us to lay down ourselves, follow Him, and join the dance. Only through Jesus was the law fulfilled. Only through Jesus can we come into knowing God. Jesus is the answer. He is the purpose. The point of the Law was to point to Him. Praise to the Almighty King of Love that God sent His son to not only save me, but to also invite me into the incredible dance of being made new in His character. It is the most beautiful thing I can ever explain.

"We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we can do anything of lasting value by ourselves. Our only power and success comes from God. He is the one who has enabled us to represent His new covenant. This is a covenant, not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old way ends in death. In the new way, the Holy Spirit gives life." 2nd Corinthians 3:4-6

"Since this new covenant gives us such confidence, we can be very bold...But the people whose minds are hardened, even to this day, whenever the old covenant (the Law of God- the rules) is being read, a veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. Whenever anyone turns to the Lord, then the veil is taken away. The Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, He gives freedom. And all believers have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like Him and reflect His glory even more." 2nd Corinthians 3:12,14,16-18

Rollercoaster.

I go up and down, and up and down. My Haley ride is like a roller coaster. It makes me dizzy, confused, topsy turvy, and sick. When I try to control this wild ride of life, my wheels squeak and try to pull off the tracks. Ya’ll, Jesus is the only thing I know that can gently put reigns on my plans, steer them back into His own, and lovingly lead me in a controlled journey through the peaks and valleys. 

Life in Spain is truly amazing and such a journey. By journey, I mean that I am learning so much through the up/down "hiking" of life. I can feel close to God, high on Him/high on Life, in a moment. Then, in the next, I feel the slanting down into another lull. Life will naturally bring ups and downs; however, there are also times that my distrust throws dips into the path. 

When I look at my world, my circumstances, my feelings, what’s going on around me, and if things are going the way I think they should... my eyes get distracted. I fall into living for my Haley Kingdom. My attention and focus falls on... How can I get people to approve of me? How can I be happier about the way I look? How can I be most successful? Anytime my gain is at the center, I am looking for significance from an unpromising source.

The end of the day is approaching here. I have been feeling the tension of my heart’s up and down struggle. Jesus never promised this life would be easy. However, He promised He would always be there to walk with us through it. When I get insecure, and half of my wheels are dangling off the tracks, He's still there. Despite how I feel in any moment, the Bible states unchanging truths about who we really are in God's eyes. 

The separated and alone feelings I have are not reality. Christ died so that sin (separation from God) would lose its power in our lives. We are set free to share His new life. (Romans 6:4-8) “You, who are God’s children… you are strong with God’s word living in your hearts, and you have won the battle with Satan.” 1^st John 2:14

Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy. That is his nature. He cannot deny himself. It is what He does. The arrows of attack are flying. There is a battle going on. This is why it is important to remember what He says is true vs. what Satan wants us to feel, the world wants us to feel, our insecurities make us feel.

God promises to fight for us. “The Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But, the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Romans 8:26-27

God will teach us through the ups and downs. Oh guys, I don’t like being in this place of falling into focusing on myself, my life, my benefit. It makes me sick. I pray that He will humble me and open my eyes to focus only on Him. He says to us, His children: “I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you, and so that my fame might be spread throughout the earth.” Romans 9:17.

How deeply I want to be used by Him as a vessel that can carry His love to others and to the world. One of my favorite lines from a song says… “How can I further your Kingdom when I’m so wrapped up in mine?” (Mercy Me). This is the prayer of my heart tonight.

As the Lord is softening me so I can be molded and refined, I am encouraged by this… “We can rejoice when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us. They help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us. Character produces the habit of joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.

When we were utterly hopeless, Christ came and died for us as sinners. God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of His son while we were still His enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by His life. So now we can rejoice in wonderful relationship with God, all because of what Jesus did on the cross, so that we can be friends of God.” Romans 5:3-6,8,10-11

A blessing and a truth to stand on in the day-to-day and always...

“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is filled with joy, and my mouth shouts His praises! My body rests in hope. He has shown me the way of life, and He will give me wonderful joy in His presence." Acts 2:25-26,28